Does age goes directly proportional towards maturity... Just some food for thoughts in the case of Jack Neo Case...
I find it that with maturity, comes age and not the other way else.. People are just so mistaken about it, thinking a 48 year old person should have more maturity than a 20 year old girl... I say it is bullshit... If so, what makes you think you are more mature than the guy next to you... Just think for this second..
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death
What Children Need to Know
Linda Goldman
Children’s questions are a window to their soul and a mirror to their inner thoughts and feelings.
Why did my mum have to die?
- Respond to every child according to his or her age.
- Respond to same child in different way as he grows up.
- Not every question has an answer.
What does dead mean. How do people die?
- Preparing answers and dialogues using definition of death and of specific ways people die can encourage open communication and maintain a level of honesty for the grieving child.
Where was god when I needed him
- Respect a child’s belief system.
- “What do you belief after someone else die?”
- It is okay to admit that no one has all the answers about GODD and meaning of life and death.
Where is my person? What is heaven?
- it is common to express hope to express hope in seeing a loved one again and finding a place of connection.
- It is helpful for children to draw a picture or tell a story about heaven.
- It helps children feel comforted and safe if they can hold a positive image of where that person is that died.
My mom is dying? What can I do?
- Adults shut them out of difficult conversations.
- No right words or fears that it is inappropriate to include them.
- Only create isolation for child.
- Explain what illness is and how they can help.
- Words like hospice and terminal can prepare children for the future.
I am very ill; who can I talk to about dying?
- Talking helps children cope with their present illness and creates a safe space to share concern about dying.
I worry a lot, will I die too? Will you die too?
- Actively involving children in exploring thoughts and feelings, expressing pent-up emotions, asking questions, and using reality checks can help to release these worries in safe and meaningful ways.
Will I forget Dad? What if I forget him? How can I remember?
- Involving children in memories activities keeps loved ones at heart.
- Activities can help refresh a memory.
- Memory boxed, books, tables, rituals or grief support groups.
- Add meaning or comfort when remembering a person who is dead.
Is it my fault that my mum died? Did she suffer?
- Listen not only with your ears but also with a listening heart.
- Allow young people the opportunity to tell their entire story without interpretation,, judgment , preconceived notions.
- uncover children’s blame and worry by hearing their own questions, dreams, visions.
- Answering honestly, providing accurate facts and details creates an atmosphere of trust.
- Allows kids to express guilt fear and magical thinking.
How do other people grief?
- Pretending, play acting and role-playing are creative outlets to express grief
- creating safe environment where children share tears, frustrations, silence and imagination enhances a healthy grief process
- Uncomfortable to watch a child cry – it can be very healing at the right time and place.
I’m scared too. What can I do to feel safe?
- experience traumatic grief => feel frightened
- Fear can override grief and stop grief process
- Providing safely for children is essential
- Takes time and distance
- Create activities that help create feelings of a protected atmosphere
- Release that their overwhelming thoughts won’t last long
- Explore grief process
- Process can be unpredictable or messy
How can I remember with my friends and family?
- Participating in age appropriate ways gives meaning to their grief process
- Saying goodbye to a loved one conveys a sense of dignity and respect fot them
- Gives strong message about the value of life
Quotes
- We cant protect children from life’s tragedies but we can ease their journey by responding openly to their questions
- Repression around difficult feelings involving death can lead to a low self esteem and depression or projected anger and destructive behavior
- Open sharing with young people allows free expression of natural flow of grief processes and ensures a safe heaven of respect and honesty
Summary
- truthful
- keep explanation simple
- share the facts in age appropriate ways
- remind children it was not their fault
- define death
- allow children to be recognized mourners
- remember children grieve differently
- treat every child and their grief unique
- honor a child’s belief system
- Prepare children for funerals and memorials.
What Children Need to Know
Linda Goldman
Children’s questions are a window to their soul and a mirror to their inner thoughts and feelings.
Why did my mum have to die?
- Respond to every child according to his or her age.
- Respond to same child in different way as he grows up.
- Not every question has an answer.
What does dead mean. How do people die?
- Preparing answers and dialogues using definition of death and of specific ways people die can encourage open communication and maintain a level of honesty for the grieving child.
Where was god when I needed him
- Respect a child’s belief system.
- “What do you belief after someone else die?”
- It is okay to admit that no one has all the answers about GODD and meaning of life and death.
Where is my person? What is heaven?
- it is common to express hope to express hope in seeing a loved one again and finding a place of connection.
- It is helpful for children to draw a picture or tell a story about heaven.
- It helps children feel comforted and safe if they can hold a positive image of where that person is that died.
My mom is dying? What can I do?
- Adults shut them out of difficult conversations.
- No right words or fears that it is inappropriate to include them.
- Only create isolation for child.
- Explain what illness is and how they can help.
- Words like hospice and terminal can prepare children for the future.
I am very ill; who can I talk to about dying?
- Talking helps children cope with their present illness and creates a safe space to share concern about dying.
I worry a lot, will I die too? Will you die too?
- Actively involving children in exploring thoughts and feelings, expressing pent-up emotions, asking questions, and using reality checks can help to release these worries in safe and meaningful ways.
Will I forget Dad? What if I forget him? How can I remember?
- Involving children in memories activities keeps loved ones at heart.
- Activities can help refresh a memory.
- Memory boxed, books, tables, rituals or grief support groups.
- Add meaning or comfort when remembering a person who is dead.
Is it my fault that my mum died? Did she suffer?
- Listen not only with your ears but also with a listening heart.
- Allow young people the opportunity to tell their entire story without interpretation,, judgment , preconceived notions.
- uncover children’s blame and worry by hearing their own questions, dreams, visions.
- Answering honestly, providing accurate facts and details creates an atmosphere of trust.
- Allows kids to express guilt fear and magical thinking.
How do other people grief?
- Pretending, play acting and role-playing are creative outlets to express grief
- creating safe environment where children share tears, frustrations, silence and imagination enhances a healthy grief process
- Uncomfortable to watch a child cry – it can be very healing at the right time and place.
I’m scared too. What can I do to feel safe?
- experience traumatic grief => feel frightened
- Fear can override grief and stop grief process
- Providing safely for children is essential
- Takes time and distance
- Create activities that help create feelings of a protected atmosphere
- Release that their overwhelming thoughts won’t last long
- Explore grief process
- Process can be unpredictable or messy
How can I remember with my friends and family?
- Participating in age appropriate ways gives meaning to their grief process
- Saying goodbye to a loved one conveys a sense of dignity and respect fot them
- Gives strong message about the value of life
Quotes
- We cant protect children from life’s tragedies but we can ease their journey by responding openly to their questions
- Repression around difficult feelings involving death can lead to a low self esteem and depression or projected anger and destructive behavior
- Open sharing with young people allows free expression of natural flow of grief processes and ensures a safe heaven of respect and honesty
Summary
- truthful
- keep explanation simple
- share the facts in age appropriate ways
- remind children it was not their fault
- define death
- allow children to be recognized mourners
- remember children grieve differently
- treat every child and their grief unique
- honor a child’s belief system
- Prepare children for funerals and memorials.
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